After being told I have dyslexia and dyspraxia my confidence in my own work took a major blow. I started to notice my mistakes and worry that I couldn't be a writer because of these difficulties. After months of building my confidence in writing and feeling like I was getting somewhere, this news seemed to make all this hard work crumble away. However after a difficult summer I have come to realise this shouldn't hold me back at all, it has always been there and that has never stopped me before. I feel this may have made me a lot more stronger overall even though it was messy to get to this stage. I'm openly saying this on this blog because I feel it is the next step in building my confidence towards my writing and my own work. It's not a weakness, it has strengthened my ideas as I smash down these boundaries and walls i've created for myself, this post being just one of them.
As I step into the 3rd year of my course I am faced with a large writing task known as a COP3 which is basically just like a dissertation. I feel academic writing has never been my strongest point and this module is enough to strike fear in some of the strongest writers taking a degree. It requires what seems like endless reading, the ability to find relevant information and to compile an argument based on what informs your practice. I feel confident in answering what is needed for this, but I fear process of how i'm actually going to present this as a solid piece of writing that is both interesting, informative and makes sense (I tend to ramble ALOT). I'm breaking this down and getting all my fears out on the table to poke, prod and sort them out before I even think about tackling this piece of writing, a chance to get into the writing zone so I am able to write something meaningful and relevant, rather than waiting to the last minute and frantically writing what I think the examiner wants to see, that never goes well and I will never get anywhere if I do that.
On top of print outs and motivating notes, i'm starting to develop this 'I won't get anywhere if I don't try' attitude! So I have finally plucked up the courage and took the steps towards starting up an online magazine which consists of Writers, Artists, Illustrators, Animators, Film Makers, Bloggers and more, coming together to form a creative collective called 'Pints of Cake'. With over 30 contributors, tons of content and a Kickstarter due to launch really soon, i'm looking forward to seeing this up and running. And also to see this idea become a reality.
Final Piece
